Becca has a come to Jesus.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the future, but then again, I'm ALWAYS thinking about the future. Last semester I couldn't think about anything but being married to Logan and the life we would start together, as if, that was a means to an end. Now I am married to Logan and have honestly never been happier in my life. But thats the thing, it's still LIFE. People always ask me about marriage, as if it involves living on another planet... and it is very different and AMAZING, but it's the same in that everyday carries burdens and decisions and uncertainty, for yourself AND your spouse. I feel like Logan and I are always taking turns carrying eachother through the day, being eachothers cheerleaders and helping the other in any way we can.

Logan is doing that for me right now. Right now I am struggling with uncertainty about the future, and an eagerness for it to get here. I am ready to graduate from college. I am ready to move to Tennessee and move into a new apartment, and start a new job. Right now I am looking for that job. That is one of the greatest anxieties in my life right now, I think in part because I am working a job right now that I am very unhappy at, and I don't want to make the mistake of just taking any job, and then suffer it eating my soul.

That feeling of something eating your soul is awful. I wonder how many people go to work everyday and allow it. It is a mixed feeling of bordem, uselessness, and unimportance. I never knew that I could be so exhausted and drained from sitting at a desk in my own little office for hours. I have learned a VERY valuable lesson from this job though, I desperatly need interpersonal interaction in my job, variety, movement, some level of creativity, and responsibility.




God, please help me to TRUST you with my life. I know that I will always be in good hands with you, my husband, and a church family... Help me to lean not on my own understanding, but help me to acknowledge all the ways that you have provided for me, even in the midst of my own doubt.

I trust you if you if you choose to make my path straight, and I trust that if you dont, you will guide me through it.

Lord, I am restless and discontent in this world because I am not with you yet, give me patience to embrace all the beauty this life has to offer, and give me discontent to remind me it is not my home.